They say that having a child changes you. I knew and believed this when my husband and I contemplated bringing a baby into this world. I knew that in immeasurable ways I would develop love, patience, and gratefulness unthinkable to my childless-self. That internal dialogue was more than three years ago, and now, in throws of toddlerhood it just struck me again.
Have you ever looked at a mom and thought-what happened to you? When did you become such a dork? How you become so mom?
I think, dear friends, this is the change that all the "they"s have been talking about.
I ushered in the weekend with my son cuddled on my lap, bowl of popcorn in one hand, remote in the other. I scrolled through the netflix options waiting for the "dat one!" seal of approval from my son. I went through the tolerable movies but "No. No. No." was all I got. Continuing to scroll and watching the choices get more and more painful, I finally heard the screetching that meant he had made his choice- Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3: Viva la Fiesta!
We watched the whole thing. It was awful, but, on some weird level, I didn't hate it.
My son also loves singing the classic nursery rhyme songs, but with his speech delays, he cannot sing them himself, so he demands that I sing them. It is a sweet and simple thing to do together, but there are only so many times I can sing "Itsy Bitsty Spider", so looking for a reprieve I fired up the Pandora Kids station. It was two hours after I pressed play that it dawned on me, that these high-pitched jams had been blasting, and I have barely noticed. Some of the same kids songs that used to make my skin hurt when I would babysit in my teens, were now tolerable, and in-fact not so unpleasant. In fact, we both clapped with "C is for Cookie" came on.
Something is happening here. I may still watch documentaries and weird indie movies that leave me feeling confused and doubtful of reality after 8 pm, but in daylight its cgi dogs making jokes and getting into shenanigans in a hotel. I am like a vampire, but less cool. Dark and interesting by night and glimmering, mom-nerd in the daylight.
And so I wrap up this post because the hokey pokey is on. And dangit..
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